So I decided that the next step was a biopsy. Rather, my new doctor strongly recommended this and I was so tired of trying to come up with an answer myself that I was easily swayed into this next step. So now I’m recovering. As I said in the hospital when loopy with anesthesia, “you know that you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re ok with having holes punched in your vagina.”
Part of me is scandalized by my own willingness to admit this publicly, but a greater part of me realizes how damaging it was for me to grow up in a society that hid these things, that pretended these issues didn’t exist. I wish that these were issues that women warned you about, as common as complications from childbirth, for example. I wish this were polite dinner conversation. I wish I didn’t feel ashamed of how I’m laid up for days because I can’t sit down (church was out this morning, as is going anywhere in a car, really).
I digress. While I’ve been lying here the past couple of days, I came across this article:
https://static.medium.com/embed.js<a class=”m-story” data-collapsed=”true” href=”https://medium.com/the-real-edition/kingpins-1fa9331c705d”>Kingpins</a>
This was a great article pointing to problems I think our society misses all too often. While we’re caught up in the sensationalism of war or homicide or celebrity happenings, we are completely unaware of societal problems and solutions to chronic pain. Meanwhile, people like me struggle with chronic pain, while trying to avoid the predators trying to hook us on a problem worse than the solution. Hard to be vigilant when you’re drugged up. Here’s to hoping there’s always someone else looking out for you.